That's it, we said goodbye to the nanny or the crèche and now it's time to start school. New schedule, new organization to put in place, new people to entrust your child to… all these new features will mean that a time of trial and error will be necessary at the beginning, for everyone. Even if your child was already in community, the availability of adults and the number of children will be different at school.
Entering school or going into the unknown
This return to school is made up of new challenges, unknowns for you as well as for him. “How will the first day go? », « Is he going to cry ? », « Is he going to find friends? Often, moreover, he has heard you, during the summer, talk about your anxieties, particularly with regard to cleanliness. Besides, everyone has asked you, "is it clean?" So first, show him that you trust him and that you feel he's "ready" for school. If you put it there, it means it has the capabilities. The abilities to enter into a relationship with others, the abilities to learn about the world, the abilities to be well, even without you. He must feel this in your gestures, in your tone, in your gaze. He must feel that you, too, are ready to see him grow. At the nanny or at the crèche, he was still very young, accompanied during care and it was the adults who told you about his day. All this now he will do alone. Huge step and your role as a parent is to guide him on this path, to give him confidence in him.
How to prepare it?
Here are some keys to help:
– Tell him about the start of the school year. What will happen on this day? Who will he see? Who will come get it? We understand better what we know. To help him, you can play the separations with soft toys for example.
– Make this place “concrete” for him. It is the unknown that is distressing for the child. So don't hesitate to walk past the school, tell him about the playground slide, show him pictures of the establishment. Not for the whole summer, but a week before you can start this.
– Explain to him what the school will allow him to do, to become. Because the school is above all to become a citizen, a being of knowledge. School is a place where he will learn things which, little by little, will help him to trace his path in life.
– Some mornings will be more difficult than others because he doesn't want to be separated from you. If you feel that separations can be difficult, offer him a transition object, a comforter, a dose of love from Pipouette to slip into his pocket, a heart in the hollow of his wrist. Anticipate this by finding something with him that will do him good.
– Do not focus on this story of diapers. You don't go to school just to pee on the toilet. In the small section, visits to the toilets are very frequent. Just avoid putting on overalls or clothing that is difficult to remove.
– Talk to him about his fears, listen to his questions and take the time to answer them. You are his main referent, his guide. Name his emotions, so he will gradually come to recognize them.
We share the moments together
It is sometimes difficult to accompany our children in their emotions when they tell us facts that happened during the day and which we did not attend... Being on vacation, spending time together, sharing moments, also allows us to to be on the spot, with them, when they experience things that give them emotions, and therefore to be able to respond to them on the spot. It's a significant time saver, and of course, incredible reassurance for the child! You can then respond directly to his expectations, listen to him, put yourself at his height, and find the answers adjusted to what he feels, since you attended the scene. It's often much easier for you to decode and for him or her to make themselves understood… everyone wins! As you will have understood, talking about emotions is THE good idea for your next vacation, and we would be very happy to be able to accompany you there. So don't forget Pipouette in your suitcase, and have a great time with your children! And above all, dear parents, behind the gate, try to hold back your tears. If not, what message are you giving him? That this place is awful? That his day away from you is going to be difficult? How then do you expect him to enjoy his day when you look so worried? So smile, everything will be fine, for you, as for him! He enters the school of life!
Some books to whisper to him in the evening during this period:
– “The school of Léon” by Serge Bloch
– “My friend” by Astrid Desbordes and Pauline Martin
– “The book goes to school” by Vincent Bourgeau and Cédric Ramadier
– “The return of mothers” by Jo Hoestlandt
– “School, I will not go” by Marie Paruit
